Monday, July 30, 2012

Saturday several families who have adopted from Ghana came together in Knoxville.  It was a wonderful time with lots of food from Ghana!  The kids were excited!  Me....well, a fish with eyes and everything intact...not so appealing. :)   In Ghana they eat the bones and everything...I mean EVERYTHING.  They even eat chicken bones.  I had to take the drumstick bone from Moses Saturday.  He was digging right into it.  There was a lot of "football" (American soccer).  Everyone seemed to have a great time.  There are several kids from the same home as our kids.  It's been interesting to watch them.  At first, they didn't really want anything to do with each other but, I think they are feeling more safe and have started to play together a lot more.

It's been kind of sad with Moses.   I made jollof rice, one of their faves from Ghana, and we had a lot left over.   We had some that night for was obvious something had been triggered in Moses.   He was inhaling his food and kept asking for more.  After 3 large bowls we told him no more.  He lost control and sobbed...heartbroken.  It has continued since then.  Tonight was the worst.  He finished his and then was aggressively trying to take Christy and Luke's food.  He's been fussy, clingy and upset...begging for more all night...all the way until he was finally asleep.   

Food was an issue when they got here...we expected that.  For a long time, Moses had to have his sippy cup of water tucked under his arm to go to sleep at night.   But, they have been so much better for a while.  So, it's been kind of shocking that this effected Moses the way it did.  He's only 2!   Can a 2 year old really know hunger so much that it would do this to them?   My 2 year old has been HUNGRY.  I don't mean, like, missed a meal, or has to wait til we get home to get a drink of water.  I mean, he has gone days with NO water.  He has gone days with NO food.  Can we really even fathom that?  In America...even the homeless can usually get 2-3 meals per day.  I'm not saying there is no one hungry in America...just that most of us cannot fathom the severity of what a huge percentage of people in the world experience every day.  I can't fathom it.   But, my heart is broken.  All I can do is feed him, hold him, tell him I love him and it's ok.   His fear is so real...he's 2...but, he remembers real hunger and thirst.  I pray for Christy and Moses.  I thank God that He promises to heal and restore.  I thank God that He loves these children more than I can ever imagine.  I pray for peace where there is fear and insecurity.  I pray they will have confidence...not in me...but, in the God who holds the universe in His hand AND knows the number of hairs on their heads.  Sometimes I feel like my words are not making sense, but, I'm thankful the Holy Spirit can minister to their hearts so much better than my words ever could.   

Today, Chad was leaving the house.  Moses ran to the window and was banging on it as hard as he could and yelling "Daddy bye! Daddy bye!  I yuh you!".  Chad came walking back and I opened the front door.  Moses ran out the door and threw himself off the porch and grabbed onto Chad's legs and just buried his face and held him.  That moment has torn me up for some reason.  He has a daddy.  It's the most precious thing I've seen in a long time.  But, it's also so sobering.  I see the faces of kids just like him...they've never known a father's love...they never will!  I can't imagine Ethan or Luke...sitting in the dirt...hungry....parched....lethargic....unloved.

And as I write that, I realize that is ME without HIM.   

I'm overwhelmed that He has adopted me...that He has allowed us to adopt these kids...praying these children in my mind will know He has adopted them as well.


Christy said...

What a touching post! So thankful Christy, Moses, Ethan and Luke are blessed to have you and Chad as parents.

The C Family said...

So glad that your children will know hunger and thirst no more.

The Runyans said...

what an awesome post!! tears.