Sunday, April 29, 2012

6 Weeks!

Last week marked 6 weeks home!  It feels like so much longer.   It's been great.  It's been hard and messy.  There have been many moments I have wanted to pull my hair out...but, they are way outnumbered by so many sweet moments, giggles, cuddles, and firsts.   

Moses and Chad have been bonding more and more.  I love hearing Moses say "my daddy!".   He's been wanting to just be with Chad more.  When Chad leaves he says, "My daddy...I go!".   He LOVED riding the mower with Chad and was not happy at all when his turn was up.   

Luke and Ethan found a turtle in the pond that was "THIIIIIS BIG!!!!".

Christy admiring the weeds before they were mowed down.

Exploring the pond.

Luke and Ethan love spoiling little Moses.  

Climbing some trees.

Christy loves to wear her tutu.  It's in really bad shape...I need to make a new one. :)  She also wanted to carry her baby around the way they do in Ghana.  

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Chad has been looking forward to taking Christy out for some one on one time.   They got the opportunity the other morning.  It was nothing fancy...they just got some lunch and then went to the mall for her to jump on those trampolines.  I cannot believe she did it and was not scared at all!   She was grinning from ear to ear...she loves her daddy and she gets so shy when he tells her how beautiful she is!  Melts my heart!  

We found out that we will be going to court to on Moses' 2nd birthday!!!   On that day they will become U.S. citizens and their names will legally be changed.  I'm really excited and I think it's so special it's on his birthday.

I took Christy to the dentist this morning thinking that she'd be getting one tooth pulled, but, after xrays and further examination...she was scheduled for oral surgery in a couple of weeks.   She has several teeth that are broken off and only a tiny (brown) piece of a tooth is left sticking out.  The roots of those teeth are so infected (and likely have been for at least a year) that they are draining and will have to be dug out.   In all, she'll have 4 extractions.   Then, she'll ahve work done on 4 other teeth.   She's got some HUGE cavities and nerve problems, etc.   I'm praying it's mostly baby teeth.   She'll be having the surgery at Children's Hospital.   Our dentist is so great!  He's giving us a large discount on his fees which helps us out greatly.    I just feel so bad for her.  I HATE going to the dentist.  But, they all said she'll be up and wanting to play the same'll see :)

Things are going so well!  We're definitely out of the honeymoon period.  Moses has even started to be really defiant at times and has actually hit me and thrown stuff at me when he doesn't like what he's being told to do or not to do.    It's hard not to laugh sometimes because he's just so stinking cute!   I hate to discipline him, but, it makes me feel good.  I think he feels more secure here and is just testing us.   Christy didn't wait to start that...she started in Ghana! :)   She's really responding well though. The bonding and attachment is happening so fast.    We still have lots of things to work them and us.   One thing that is really hard for me is the lack of boundaries and having no concept of not yelling everywhere we go.   Christy will be all over complete strangers and their things.  It's hard to not get embarrassed and it's just such a foreign thing to her that she looks at me like I'm crazy when I try to explain why we can't do that.   They are both extremely loud...everywhere!   Chad's mom kept Ethan and Luke overnight last weekend.  So, we took Christy and Moses to their first movie!   They loved it.   It was reallly cute because CHristy has this awesome laugh.   It's loud, raspy...just super cute.   Well, she always died laughing when no one else was and she was oblivious to anyone around her.  People were turning around and laughing at her.   Moses sings along loudly with every song...even if it's the first time he's heard it...he did the same during the his high pitched little voice.   We have so many great memories of this past month.  

I noticed tonight that Christy's english is really improving...her speech is a lot clearer too.   She cracked us up yesterday.   Ethan cannot talk to her without speaking's like he's trying to talk like her but speak very clearly so she can's really cute.  Well, yesterday he couldn't understand something she was saying and she did the same thing to him...paused after every syllable and spoke VE.RY.CLEARL.LY.   She's done it a few's not to be funny....just to help us.  I bet we sound equally as silly to her!  

Sunday, April 22, 2012

LOVE these kids!!    

I got to spend a night in the mountains with some friends...I took Moses with me and Chad took the big kids up the mountains  to hike up to  Look Rock.  We all had a great weekend!

I had wondered if this would end up happening. :)   These kids adore each other and get on each other's nerves like no other.   It's amazing the bond they already have though.   They are all learning and growing.   I had wondered if Luke and CHristy would ever warm up to each other.  Now, I catch them having the cutest conversations.    The other day she was teaching Luke how to say things with a Ghanain accent....super cute! :)   

We've had a couple more "firsts"....first time in a car wash....VERY SCARY for these kids!!!  Should have thought that one through better!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

And me!

I look at my kids and I'm so thankful.   All four of my under one roof.   I've waited for so long.  It's such a huge relief.    However...something is not right.  Something tears me up inside.   I look into the eyes of my children and I could be them, sitting...hungry....alone....hurting...waiting for someone to love them.   Loving people come...they hold them, feed them, play with them.  Then....they leave.   It's wonderful.  They have shown love...most importantly shown the love of God.    Then, they watch their friends get packages from families.  They've been chosen.  Someone is going to get them out of there.   They are going to finally have a family....a mommy and a daddy!  They get pictures, special gifts...just for them.   I'm sure...deep inside...they are wondering "why not me?"  "Will someone ever want me?"  For some, an orphanage is all they know.  For some, they've known what it's like to have a family, but, poverty or circumstance has stripped  them of it.   Either way, I can't imagine the despair they must feel...the aching that must be a constant in their little hearts.  They are helpless....stuck...defenseless.   They are hungry for attention.  Sometimes I am brought to tears when our little guy says, "Mommy, and me!....Daddy, and me!".  He says this a lot when other kids are getting attention, food, or anything else he wants.   It brings back memories of precious little children, just like him....crying out...desperate for my attention.   "And me!  And me!".    What kills me is that I have held them.  I have looked them in the eyes and told them that I love them...that Jesus loves them.   They have sat on my lap and held my hand.   THEY KNOW....THAT I KNOW!   They must be wondering what I am going to do.  I have walked away.  WIll they ever see me again?   Will I help them?   What will I do?    Most important....God knows that I know!    I ask God what He wants us to do.   And...I instantly start to think of all of the things I can't do....the things I can't (don't want to) give up.   HE KNOWS all of that too!    

I think of Ethan or Luke...sitting in the food or water for one around who loves them....sometimes abused.   Would I sit back and make excuses for why I could not get them out of there?  I would sell everything I have, give up eating out, forget about my comfort.   There are millions of children...sons and daughter of the this situation and much worse.   Waiting on us to obey our God.   What will I do?   Will I obey?  Will I die to myself?

Proverbs 31:8   Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves.  Ensure justice for those being crushed.  

Proverbs 24:12  Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls,  knows what we know and holds us responsible to act.

Honestly....I am tired....I'm sure it shows in my rambling. :)  Yesterday was a day I wish we could just pretend didn't happen.   I don't feel like I can do anything else.  And I can't.  I can't make it through another day without Him.   Last night I was reading Psalm 143 and verses 6-12 really spoke to where I was at.  Especially verse 7...Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens.   Don't turn away from me, or I will die!!!!  LOL.  I am desperate for Him.  But, I want to live that way.   I need Him.   Verse 11 says "For the glory of your name, O Lord, save me.  In your righteousness bring me out of my distress."    I am nothing without Him and I want to bring glory to His name.  He's done so much for us.  If it weren't for Him...I truly don't know where I'd be...and I say that with all sincerity.   He has saved a weak, undisciplined person....a marriage in shambles....and gives grace everyday to a mother who can totally blow it when it comes to parenting.   He is good.

I think my excuses, aside from being ridiculous, short change God.  He is a God with no limitations, boundless love, amazing grace, and nothing is beyond Him...if He calls us to it.   Adoption is hard.  It's one of the hardest, yet most rewarding, things I've ever been through. It was WAY beyond our means and the enemy came against it...but God provided and prevailed.   Is everyone called to adopt?  Probably not.  

There are women who've started organizations like Feeding the Orphans, 147 millions orphans, etc.   There are tons of organizations to help feed families or support mothers trying to keep their children...or rescue children out of child slavery.     I do think that we are all called to do something.   It's in the and white...plain as day...there's no denying it.  

He KNOWS we KNOW.  What are we going to do?     Sometimes I feel silly blogging...I started out doing it to print off every year because I stopped scrapbooking.   Lately, it helps me process what's going on inside me.   I'm not good with words.   But, I think I also want to be held accountable.  I don't want to go on with life as usual...I want to be held to what I know.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Homecoming Video

It's so overwhelming watching this.   There are so many who gave SO MUCH to help bring our kids home and we are beyond grateful.   We are so blessed and yet so undeserving.   GOd's grace is truly amazing and he lavishes it freely on us.  

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


Here are a couple of videos I thought were in the last post :)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

3 Weeks!

It has been a crazy three weeks!!!   SO, we've dealt with RSV and pneumonia.   This week....I had to take Ethan and Christy in.   Ethan's face was swelling to the point his eyes were swelling shut and he was covered in a weird rash that he had also in Ghana.   Turns out to be an allergic reaction to the malaria medication.   Christy had been saying her ear hurt and she had a bad ear infection.   I quickly learned that when she says she doesn't feel good...but, still acts like she feels good...I need to take her very seriously.  I think she's had to learn to have a high pain/discomfort tolerance.

Later in the week, I actually had to rush her to the ER.   She passed out and then started vomitting.  She actually was mostly unconscious for about an hour.   It turns out she was dehydrated.  Which is crazy because she drinks water all day long!!!   After an IV with 2 bags of fluids, she was back to her old self.

I've tried to stay home more this week and it's been good.   I've been really exhausted.   By the middle of the week, I wasn't really sure I could keep going.  Thankful for a better night's rest last night!   We were able to get up and take care of the house and then we headed to the mountains as a family.   We had a great day together.    We saw lots of bears, a few deer, and several turkeys.   To top it all off, Luke caught 2 on top of the other.  Believe it or one asked any questions about why they were like that!    It was hilarious.   Christy is just like not come near her with anything like that!

Moses got soaked...he just runs full speed into the water.  He doens't mind his head going under, so he never learns or thinks twice...kind of scary!

It hit me today that all of the "firsts" that we're experiencing with these two are so different.   We missed out on so many firsts like, first steps, first words, etc.   But, today was Christy's first time of being in the car while it rained.  She was so amused by the water on the windows.  It was her first time drinking from a water fountain.   She said, "mom...what's this?".  I told her.  She asked, "what for?".  I showed her how it worked and she just giggled and giggled and kept drinking from it.   Today was her first time in a creek.   It's so fun to watch her.  Things that we are used to seeing our whole lives, bring her such delight!  I love it!  

Moses made my day but kissing my face tonight for the first time.  He just grabbed my face and kept kissing saying, "Mwah!" over and over!