Thursday, December 18, 2014

Where did FALL go??

Fall is my favorite time of year,but, I feel like I missed it this year!  I cannot believe Christmas is next week!   This past month has flown by.  I don't know how that's possible, though, when most days seemed like they would never end.  It has been so, so rough at times.   I'm thankful for these pictures because they remind me that is has also been beautiful...most of the time.   It's been one of these seasons of wondering why I do what I do...feeling like I'm messing everything up and it's beyond repair.  Wondering what's wrong with me.  Why can't I have compassion when I know I should?   When did I become the mom that yells?  I'm doing everything I tell my kids not to do.  Want to know what I sound like behind closed doors?  Listen to my kiddos.  It's great.  I hate that part.  Ugh. I've been critical, discontent, and unforgiving.  It's been one of those seasons of being reminded that I can't do this on my own.  Adoption...totally beyond me!  Homeschooling...oh boy...what am I thinking?  I've had to repent and ask my gracious savior for forgiveness.   I've had to apologize to my kids more times than I can count.   Both have been beautifully loving.   I've been humbled.  I'm thankful for that.   I've had my eyes off of HIM and it feels so good to surrender everything and know that He is able.   I can trust Him with my children and their precious little hearts.  Nothing with Him is beyond repair and He can use ANYTHING for good.   I am a work in progress and I know that will never end.  I'm just so thankful for grace and that God brings so much undeserved beauty into my life.  He is truly good.