4 days until my kids come home!!!! I cannot wait! I can't sleep either! I've got to start getting more sleep or I'm not going to be able to keep up with them. I talked to Chad and he sounds vey tired. He said they got to sleep after midnight. Christy and Moses woke up around 5 am and were bouncing off the walls. Praying they get some good rest tonight. THey had a long trip there (20 hours) so I know they're all jet lagged. They are going to the orphanage today for a good-bye party. I wish I was there!
Luke and I are having fun. He's in heaven if you'll just sit and play a million board games with him. So we did and then cuddled in bed and watched some movies.
Yesterday we got his haircut. The girl that cut his hair knows Chad and asked about how many kids we have. So, I told her where he is right now. She replied that she has a sister who is going to adopt but..."she's going to wait until her kids are older...because....you know...she doesn't want her boys to miss out on anything".
I got a big knot in my stomach when she said this. I actually wanted to grab Luke and leave. Instead I just sat there silently stewing. I was really mad. But, why? I sat there thinking....at least she didn't say that in front of Christy and Moses. But...it made me mad she said it in front of Luke. I'm trying to just give some grace. I know she didn't mean any harm. Plus, I've said my share of stupid things.
I guess I just don't understand the mindset of so many Americans. Exactly what are my boys going to "miss out on"??? I can guarantee if you started a list, it would include things like Disney World, a room to themselves, brand name clothes, etc. All material things! You know what? I'm OK with that! And...I think they are too. There was a quote going around on facebook the other day..."children are not expensive...lifestyles are." AMEN! It's so sad to me that THINGS have become more important than relationships and PEOPLE. You know what my boys are not missing out on? A precious brother and sister! They've learned to be compassionate, self-sacrificing, giving, and the list goes on. One thing I love is hearing my boys play together in THEIR room....they've created so many precious memories because they share a room. Our vacations have been things like camping....and we LOVE it! We are not perfect, nor are our boys. We're all selfish, greedy humans who need God's grace every single day. But, God has been so good to allow us to look beyond ourselves and the temporary things this world offers. When we do...there is nothing that compares to the blessings that follow.
I think the one thing that bothered me most about that woman's comment was that it implied that our adopted children are not as important as Ethan and Luke. What would they be missing out on if we didn't adopt now? What are they missing out on BECAUSE we ARE adopting now??? It's overwhelming to think about that!
I know some people think that Ethan and Luke will suffer because they won't get our attention as much anymore. I don't really know what to say to that. I love my kids. I would love to have/adopt more kids! I believe what the Bible says...children are a blessing! I stay home and homeschool my boys. I'm with my kids all day...everyday. We don't have a video game system...our tv is only for dvd's occasionally...so we REALLY spend time together. So...I will still probably spend more one on one time with each of my kids than some people spend with their only child. They love their brother and sister so much. Ethan actually says all the time that we have 7 kids...3 are in heaven. The other day he said..."man, mom...when you get to heaven you'll have all 7 kids! Do you still want to go there???". He's so funny.
We are so blessed. My boys are blessed...and they know it! Luke has already started saving up for our "next adoption". He says, "I'm going to Africa for our next adoption". Ethan tells him "IF we adopt again". He simply states again, "I'm going to Africa for our next adoption". Cracks me up. I just wish adults could see what they do. I think one day we'll all be surprised at how the things we thought that really mattered, don't matter at all.
5 comments:
Wow - some people just have a totally different way of thinking. They're the ones who are missing out. Adopting children is so incredibly precious, way more than going to Disney World or having separate bedrooms.
You're right. People do say the dumbest things. I have a good friend who is taking an additional job (in addition to her 35+ hour job) so that their ONLY child will have the BEST of everything. It breaks my heart. All kids want is security. Sometimes that's in a small family, a big family, all bio kids or all adopted kids, etc! My kids would love for us to have more kids and they've never had a room to themselves OR gone to Disney World. Poor things. lol Praying you can get some sleep!
Oh, Steph! Loved this post. So true and so sad. Honestly though, there are times right now that the doubt creeps in with the question if our own boys are missing out on things right now as we prepare to go. (Five in one room, no extras of any kind - sports, clothes, novelties, etc...). We are asking our boys to sacrifice a lot. Your post was the TRUTH I needed to be reminded of. EVERY child is irreplaceable in God's eyes. The kids your mom is loving on, and the ones we will be loving on are valuable and WORTH whatever it takes to get there. I can't imagine life without Godwin. I can't imagine how the boys would view our world if they had not seen what 90% of it is like. I can live without new clothes, Disney World, individual rooms for the kids, and a house to call our own...but I can NOT live without following my Jesus - wherever he calls at whatever cost. Thank you for saying YES now! We are not promised tomorrow. Now is the only time to say YES. Tonight I checked out at Walmart and my cashier after learning we were moving to Ghana emphatically stated, "I could never move to Africa. Those people are so...so...uncivilized." After catching my breath I tried to educate him on the intelligence of Ghanaians, then I walked away thinking - Evidently he doesn't know the same God I do... I'm going to bed praying for the girl who you spoke with today and my cashier at Walmart - may God soften their hearts.
I just stumbled on your blog and this post is exactly the way we feel!
I too have 2 boys and because we are adopting they will share a room and etc etc
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and story here - I often wonder what others (not my children) are missing out on since their eyes and hearts clearly are not open (yet!!!)
So true. My daughter also had to give up her own room when our 2 Ghanaian kids came home. We got the "She'll miss out on so much" speech often. It made me question myself, because I want what's best for her. But (if not us), who would want what's best for Serwaa & Konto? No one. They don't have someone to look out for their best interests. The things they could've missed out on were so much more vital. (Education. Healthcare. Love...) People can be so zoomed in to their own little world that they never see a bigger picture. Sad.
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